12 Months: Xigbar
by My Chemical Music Box
Summary: Mr. Information's Freeshooting Opinion." My New Year's resolution of a collection of drabbles, month by month. Org 13 pairings/personality clashes. Numero 2.
1. Xemnas

**A/N: And so it begins! I'm back for Xigbar's February (for more details on the little self-challenge this is for, see my profile), and I'm looking forward to it! ^_^**

**I chose this style for Xiggie cause I wanna capture his personality a little, and even if I'm failing at that, at least it's an easier style to write in! ^^" And donn't be worried if he sounds whiny, please. XigXem is just suuuuuuuuper difficult. Lmao.**

**Well, enjoy! (I think I'm a little late with this)**

Xemnas? You want me to talk about Xemnas? The guy's our oh so spooky and _mysterious_ leader, simple as that. He sits around acting all high and mighty, then buggers off to his Room of Sleep, Room of Awakening, Room of... Toenails, for all I know! He let me anywhere near _any_ of 'em! You know how frustrating that is for someone like me?!

I gather info, y'know? It's my specialty - and old 'Mother Superior' is keeping me from enjoying it! All of the stuff that's _really_ interesting is kept dangling in front of nose by that guy, and he _likes_ it! I swear!

And y'know, sometimes I'm convinced he doesn't see me. Of course, invisibility could be really handy in my profession, it might get me closer to _my_ goal, but when you're sitting there and his eyes just gloss over you like you're made of glass? Not cool.

But it's always been like that. When I still had a heart, and I first became one of Ansem's Awesome Apprentices, the guy completely ignored me! Xehanort, the Chosen One, always with his stuck in a book and no time to say 'boo' to a goose? To _acknowledge_ anyone?

It didn't even stop there/ All six of us wake up heartless in that dumb castle, and what's the first thing he says to me? "Who are _you_?" Like we hadn't been working together for _years_? Did the transformation make me age until I was unrecognisable or something?

No! I'm Xigbar! Or... Braig if ya wanna get technical.

But seriously, it pisses me off! All I want is some respect, but the guy is impossible. You can never tell what he's thinking, only what that crocodile grin on his face _wants_ you to think he's thinking!

Well, if I can't get respect, I'll get that info! I'll find out what's going on in the Number One seat, and I'll work out what that guys planning with his blue-haired puppy dog.

It's my specialty, right?


	2. Xaldin

**A/N: Uwaaaah! This is so late! . School's being a bitch right now (we just started back over here in Aussie-land) and the homework is like WOOAH! You wouldn't believe it, seriously. But I'ma get me butt in gear as of now! XD oh yeah, some swearing in this one, but that's what a T rating's for! **

**Ooh also, thanks to surxi25 for reminding me of Xiggie's catchphrase! How could I forget? ^^; XD**

Xaldin is fucking ACE!! With his creepy face, his creepy personality, his creepy eyes, his creepy voice (way creepier than Luxord's!) and his terri-fuckin'-fying HAIR! How cool can you get?

The guy is single-handedly reducing the Beast's Heart to a psychotic pulp - an achievement in itself - he's pretty much the Superior's favourite after Mr Puppy, AND he's got no goddamn secrets to speak of!

I hang around him _all_ the time, just harmlessly trying to get some juicy leverage on him - but the guy's as clean as those goddamn spears he likes to chuck around.

He's fanatical about keeping those things spotless, y'know, just so you get my drift.

So, I spend all this time and effort trying to politely make the dude cave, and you know what he does? He says to me, in that creepy little voice of his, to "toddle off". Toddle off! What am I, a two year old?! AS IF!!

He's been hanging around Luxord too much. That's what it is.

I _swear_ he wasn't as creepy when he had a Heart. At least... I don't think he was...

Hmm... You know...

I don't think he likes me very much.


	3. Vexen

**A/N: Urgh. Kinda crap but XigVex is difficult. And I can guarantee that I don't hate Vexen as much as Xiggie does. Vex's just too big for his boots sometimes *nods* XD Anyway I sorta see Xigbar as the most nostalgic character in the Org 13, so I like sticking in how other members acted before they lost their Hearts with him. Anywayz, this is getting long so, enjoy! ^_^**

Vexen?! Jeez! Tormenting that mad scientist is the only thing that asswipe Marly's done _right_ since I brought him in!

Vexen's a joke! That stick up his ass must be the size of Memory's Skyscraper or something, 'cause that guy just can't understand the meaning of laughter!

Me and Demyx, right? We snuck into his lab one day and 'accidentally' spilled maybe, what? Two, three jars of creepy stuff? (Pretty sure I saw a Shadow antennae in one of those things!) Well, the guy was on our butts faster than Axel can jump a certain blonde-haired, blue-eyed little squirt!

Me, I got away just fine but, _poor wittle Dem~_----- he got an icicle through his shoulder. Totally unreasonable; totally ward-worthy - that's Vex. But he was always like that, even as a human. High and mighty till the shadowy end.

And the way he goes on about rank? Jeeeeeeeeez! I'm number two, but you never see _me_ glaring at X-Face, do ya?

If there's one thing the young'uns do right, it's definitely bullying Icy Pants (he deserves everything he gets). But Vex has some good points.

For instance, what about that 'Replica' program I keep 'hearing' about, huh?


	4. Lexaeus

**A/N: I'm a horrible author! I know! I'm so behind, and I'll have to continue to be behind... I'm only uploading two of my long-delayed drabbles today, cause my brain's already in lala land. I'm that tired - and I'm not joking.**

**So please enjoy what I have, even though it's not much. ^^;**

Lexaeus needs to talk more. That's my professional diagnosis. I remember thinking the exact same thing when I first met the guy. He's actually really cool, and super smart in that logic puzzle, 'I can solve a rubics cube in one minute flat' kinda way. And he's got a great sense of humour too. I mean, he's refrained from flattening me with that big tomahawk of his more times than I can count. And jeeeeeeeez I've deserved it sometimes!

In fact, I'd go as far as to say that if he talked, he'd be almost as awesome as _me_.

But he lets Zexy push him around to much. He's allowed himself to become prime sidekick material. I don't know how that kid manages to tell big old Lex what to do - I mean, _I'd_ never let any of the gromits tell me what to do - and I can't find out! Neither of them will tell me!

But you know, go figure for them and snootiness.

But that's the _most anoying thing_ about Lex! He won't tell me _anything_! No juicy inside plans, no hints on Salt-White Castle (of Oblivion), not even a smidgeon of damaging info on Zexy!

He drives me up the frickin' wall!

Ooh. Maybe if I took Zexy hostage I could get some info outta the big guy!


	5. Zexion

**A/N: Numero 2 for tonight, then I need to catch some **_**very long**_** zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz's.**

**And woot for a reference to last chapter. =P This and Lex's drabbles are so weak. ^^;**

**Goodnight and please enjoy (sorry for my update fail!)**

Ah, Zexion. He's a pretty creepy kid, yeah?

I mean, he can _smell_ darkness - how weird is that?! And that book of his? I've seen it in action, it's seriously creepy. It's more of a soul-sucking parasite than a weapon in my opinion.

And he's like Lex - in the 'not talking' respect. Whenever he _does_ talk it's either too complex to give a shit about or he's taking the piss.

He was like that as a kid too. A precocious brat from the start - but an intelligent one. And long-suffering (can't forget that!). Can _you_ imagine spending time with Vexen to leach info out of him? Or Even or whatever?

I can't. I think I'd rather die. Again. Haha!

Also! Zexy's hair insults me. At least I have a _reason_ to cover up one of my eyes! Does he? AS IF!! He just does it to look mysterious.

But seriously, this kid's gonna put me outta business. He _never_ spills his beans! EVER! And he's trained his pet bodybuilder to do the same, the bastard!

But he's smart. I can't stand Vexen and Saix is just plain untrustworthy, so Zex is the only smart kid left to help me work out what Mother Superior's up to.

It'd be nice if he started treating more like a comrade than a bad smell, though. Maybe I should be kidnapping Lex instead of Zexion?


	6. Saix

**A/N: More lateness, but at this point I'm seriously just trying to get up to date in time for the Xigbar/Xion, which I think is prolly the **_**most**_** important Xiggie drabble in the line-up. XD So bear with me and enjoy! Please!**

Puppy Boy! Oh, now _that_ kid is a RIOT!

He turns up with this little red-headed snot, waltzes right up to us and our newly-formed, not-very-well-guarded Organization, and within a few hours nabs the both of 'em a name and a free ticket in! The boy was a frickin' wunderkid!

None of us sure, even now, how the kid got 'em in. I suspect a soft spot that Mother Superior may sport - but the guy's so emotionless, who can say?

But you can't say the Big Dude made a mistake, no sirree. Saix is scary strong. Scary smart too in that 'annoying little uppity windbag' sorta way.

The guy does nothing but order me around, too!

But unlike _some_ members, _his_ background's friggin' jawdrop-worthy. His little rendezvous with Flame Boy are too obvious! Problem is, I can never get close enough to hear the bastards! it's like Puppy Boy _knows_ I'm there!

...Is it a dog thing?

Do I smell?!

AS IF!

But those two are shifty. Saix has to be the shiftiest kid in the Organization (excluding Xemnas) and Axel's running a close second with that Roxie crap.

Now, wouldn't it be _funny_, if those two were planning some sorta... coup? Like a refinded version of Marly's boot-stomping, cymbal clashing mouth-off? Saix is about the only one who could pull it off, I reckon.

Especially with all that (MUCH DESIRED) inside info. But I'm just speculatin', honest!

Oh, Puppy Boy is worth watching. As if I'd let something _this_ big skip on by!


	7. Axel

**A/N: A little short but there's so much Axel stuff that I wanna deal with with other charas so... yeah I suck. XD**

You know, I've always thought Axel was a little like me. Just a whole whinier and _way_ more into little kids. But he's pretty sneaky, and an above-par fighter. And he does a _damn_ good impersonation of a human!

But he takes things to _heart_ too much! I swear, ever since his inside meets with Puppy Boy and that 'last-surviving-hero' schtick at Castle Obliterate - he's been letting things get outta hand.

This whole Poppet and Blondie fiasco - with its drama and its sneakiness and its Puppy Boy arguments - its seriously blowing his 'trustworthy minion' cover!

But _damn_ is he interesting. I've never seen a kid who could get himself mixed up in so many plots! Castle Oblivion is proof enough from what info I've... liberated on the matter.

When he first joined up, I swear he had the _least_ promise - he was outshined buy Saix from the start. He snivelled along after his '_best friend_', rode on his Organization-coat-coattails, and _I_ thought he'd be the flop of the club to be honest.

But he's surprised me. He's turned out to be one of the most exciting members we have.

Apart from Blondie and Poppet of course.


	8. Demyx

**A/N: A little melancholy here, almost. Dunno if I like that or not. =/ But anyway. Must catch up with my deadlines! I hope to upload three more drabbles tomorrow and finally be up to date for Roxie's and Xion's. ^^; Please enjoy!**

Demyx! Demyx is my number one dude! My little muso amigo is one of the only kids around here with a sense of humour.

Jeez, the amount of trouble I've got that kid into - Vexen's lab, Luxord's carefully ordered card deck, Xaldin's spotless spears, Zexion's sense smell... He really is the _best_ scapegoat

I try to repay his 'good deeds' by imparting some of my sneaky wisdom to him, and the kid does admirably. But will he ever be as good as me? I don't think so!

But info's gatherings one of the few things he seems toi be good at. His fighting really does suck in comparison to everyone else's. He just dances around with those water copies of his and runs away. I reckon the only way he could win against the Keybearer would be if he managed to confuse or _completely_ trip the dude out!

But haveta admit, his guitar playing is fuckin' ACE! If there's anything he's good at, it's creating some kickass entertainment. But that crap about it being called a 'sitar'? Pffffft! Looks pretty guitar-y to me!

The little dude's honest, though. Too honest. Sometimes I'll almost believe he's got a little heart thumping away in that chest of his.

But he's just acting. And he never seems to let anything knock that smile off his face. Maybe that's why he's so easy to be around?


	9. Luxord

**A/N: Luxord's difficult. I swear he and Xaldin get like, the **_**least**_** development out of **_**anyone**_**! DX**

Luxord has _THE weirdest_ way of speakin', y'know? I mean, he must've gone and _read_ the dictionary one day or something 'cause half the time, I can't even get what he's _saying_! And I'm no dunderhead. That accent of his doesn't help any either.

The guy's so _quiet_. I mean, he talks enough - probably can't wait to flaunt those big words - and he's always quick to utilise his _witty_ humour; but he always keeps to himself! He does his job, he hangs around with Xaldie a little, he minds his own business and _never_ gets in any trouble.

There's not a _speck_ of dirt to be found on him!

And even when Dem and I completely ruined his ever-so-carefully-ordered card deck, all he did was call us some very complex names and shut his out!

I've never met a guy so incredibly laid back, but still so... NOT dull!

It's not right!

...

Oh, wait.

I forgot his gambling problem.


	10. Marluxia

**A/N: A little short ^^;**

Marluxia's got a screw loose. It doesn't _seem_ that way at first, otherwise I'd never have recruited him, but there's definitely something missing there.

He's a super-egotist, that much is obvious, but a surprisingly subtle one at times. That doesn't make his overconfident plans any less easy to discover, though. I find them pretty fuckin' funny myself.

Use Namine to use the Keybearer to overthrow Xemnas? PUH-leeaaaase! I mean, Namine's pretty interesting from I've managed to dig up so far but, hopefully, the Keybearer isn't that stupid. The others weren't.

But I'm not gonna rule Marly out _completely_. He's a dangerous dude. He gave me a hell of a fight when I found him wandering nameless across the fields near Castle Oblivion. He's intelligent, and one of the more skilled fighters; and that weapon of his is _very_ ouchy on the sharpness scale. Even if it _is_ covered in _flowers_!

I still can't believe the dude can be so comfortable with himself when he's got pink _petals_ floating him all the time. Haha!

Maybe those flowers are what's replacing all those missing cogs and screws in his brain!


	11. Larxene

**A/N: Larxy is so fun to write about, though I couldn't do much from this perspective ^^;**

**Finally back on track with my deadlines!**

Larxy, Larxy, Larxy. Our only _'proper'_ girl and she's got a worse temper than Puppy Boy on his Moon Cycles.I swear, half of my scars have come from that dudette, and _mostly_ for no reason at all!

And poor Dem, she's electrocuted him and watery copy-comrades more than once or twice.

She's _horrible_ to be around - I don't how Marly manages it. You give the girl a compliment and she slices you with electrified knives, and you say anything _bad_ to her and she attempts to friggin' _decapitate_ ya!

I remember the day she first joined almost as clearly as my own recruitment - though that _may_ have something to do with her daily... _shocking_ reminders. Dem tried tobe friendly, you know, since he's the Organization welcome mat and all, and you what she did?

She nearly sliced his _hand_ off! (A disaster, Dem told me later, that would have ruined his sitar-strumming forever. I told him to get his priorities right).

She's one broad you _don't_ wanna mess with. Maybe that's why Marly can gets on with her so well?

Or maybe it's their shared passion for torturing our Mad Scientist.

...Or is it their coup d'etat?


	12. Roxas

**EDIT: Waaah! The Document Manager wouldn't let me upload in time!**

**A/N: Probably not as good as it could be, but there's too much to say about Rox! XD**

**These are a little late but I though I should post Roxas and Xion on the same day. That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it .**

**Enjoy!**

Roxas...really is amazing. He's got all these people clamoring over him, but he has as much personality as a peanut on most days! Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against him, and he's a cute kid.

But him and Xion, they really are the centre of the drama aren't they? And poor Flame Boy - Blondie's got him jumping through hoops! It's _very_ interesting that he can wield a keyblade though, and _damn_ I wish I knew what's running through Mother Superior's head when it comes to this kid. No wonder his grins get that much creepier when Blondie's around.

Poor kid. Haha!

Actually I'm surprised Marly's plans are still set on Castle Oblivion for his coup; you'd think that he'd jump for joy at the chance to use a malleable little Nobody with no memories. But maybe that wouldn't be smart - Xemnas _just might_ lop his head off with one of those creepy blades of his.

But poor little Roxas. He really doesn't get how important he is. There's so much going on around him that he's not even aware of! And the little dude's super trusting, he's just lucky he nabbed Axel as his baby-sitter.

Anyone else and the kid woulda been either turned into an experiment by our mad scientist, cut into tiny pieces by Larxene, thrown off his mental rocker by Zex or had _who knows what_ done to him by Marly.

Maybe Demyx woulda been okay though.

Roxie creeps me out a little though. That creppy blank look he fixes on you half the time, the _really_ weird emotional displays that I've heard about...and not to mention the fact that he looks uncannily like that other blonde key-weilding kid from years ago...

But that's why _I'm_ not baby-sitting him!

I just get to sit back and watch the show unfold!

Hmm. Maybe I can hijack Vex's lab to make some popcorn?


	13. Xion

**A/N: Hrm... A little scatter-brained here, but maybe Xion's epic creepiness is throwing Xiggy's thought processes off? Maybe?**

**Anyway, this is the end! Which means you don't have to put up with my crapsticks updating schedule until next month! XD Xaldin's up next, so I'm thinking I might branch off into a different style... Anywayz, we'll see!**

**I hope you enjoyed Xigbar's drabbles, and I promise I'll try harder next time to be professional! ^^; Until then!**

Aha... Poppet unnerves me a little. I mean, I know what she is, and I know what she's supposed to look like - but she doesn't look like it! She's got the blue eyes, the blonde hair, the nose, the _clothes_ peeking up from under her coat! And when she stands next to Blondie... Jeez it's like looking at creepy twins!

Then everyone goes and tells me she's a _girl_?!

Can anyone say freakish?

I don't have it as bad as Puppy Boy though! Haha! Apparently he sees her as a doll, wooden joints and everything from what I gather. Now wouldn't seeing a wooden puppet on invisible strings be enough to throw you for a loop? I dunno how the dude stands looking at her every morning.

I really must give Vex some congrats I suppose, since he made her an' all. She's a perfect dolly, fully functional and all that scientific hoo-hah. But really... Who would _want_ to make a doll like her? Sure, she's gonna be awesome for the Organization's plans, she's gonna be super powerful and nab us heaps of Hearts - but seriously, she's kinda unpredictable. What if she starts like, sucking the life out of people (I'm thinking along the lines of Roxie since they're connected) or what if she turns zombie and destroys everyone?

A zombie doll that looks like a Keybearer from yonks ago? I really need to stomp on my imagination...

But the dudette's almost as clueless as Blondie! She doesn't understand _anything_! But you know, I feel most sorry for Axel. He's been landed with _two_ little-kid best friends who are _both_ fated to weild the Keyblade and have _no_ chance of a happy ending. Not to mention they've both got a few _gears_ loose and could go Scary-Sharp-Batshit-AWOL and start destroying everything in sight!

I dunno what Xemnas is thinking. Surely this is a bit of a gamble even for him. I don't even think _Luxord_ would gamble with these stakes. I mean, I know everyone else is seeing this as a win-win type of thing, you know, even if one keybearer gets snuffed, there's a backup. But I dunno if it's that simple.

These kids aren't exactly what you'd call normal, and surely this could get super outta hand super quickly, yeah?

But it's not my place to butt in. Hehe... I'm just gonna sit back and let it take its course. These kids are too interesting to ignore. _Xion_ is too interesting to ignore.

And wouldn't it be funny if this whole thing just blew up in our faces?


End file.
